The Schöneberg Bear

There is something about this homo ursus

If you’re visiting Berlin soon and are determined to go hunting, there are some crucial facts you need to know about the rear Berlin bear breed.
Legend:

1. Buzz haircut, 1.3 cm. length
2. Trimmed beard; style and length directly correspondent to sexual preferences
3. Armband tattoo, silent homage to porn star idol
4. XL leather harness, back clasp
5. Crotch-less leather pants; no waistband
6. Colour-coded hanky to attract right type of homosexual
7. Issue #28 of Butt magazine (received by subscription)
8. Loyalty card for RoB Berlin
9. Calf-high industrial boots, steel-toed
10. “Diva,” toy-sized pet dog

Natural Habitat:
The Bear lives and operates in the area of Schöneberg south of Nollendorfplatz. He will head further afield to Kreuzberg on Thursdays to hit Möbel Olfe, or as far north as Tiergarten to cruise in the wooded areas.

Occupation:
Once out of the leather and spiffed up in business casual wear, the Bear can blend seamlessly into any work environment. Careers range from creative (graphic designer, photographer) to mainstream (engineer, banker).

Diet:
The younger Bear, or Cub, often a member of the offshoot Muscle Bear scene, works out frequently and consumes a protein-powder-supplemented diet. The older Bear, unconcerned with muscle mass, eats and drinks for pleasure (emphasis on beer). The Bear is never vegetarian.

Notable Habits:
Trimming body hair to uniform length. The Bear is an expert cruiser and can communicate entire conversations’ worth using a single gaze, eyebrow waggle, or wink. They are also adept at dancing with minimal leg movement—it’s purely arm swings and shoulder gyrations.
Mating Rituals:
The Bear is in a long-term committed relationship outside of which both he and his partner are free to roam. Preferred copulating scenarios include anonymous dark basements and public intercourse, a sign of sexual prowess amongst other members of the pack

guide found at: sugarhigh